First dates are exciting, but they can also be nerve-racking. The idea of meeting someone new and possibly finding a long-term mate is enough to make even the most confident person nervous. It is worth the nerves and effort if a relationship blooms, but preparing for the date and stumbling through awkward conversation can be intimidating. Many people are so concerned about first dates they avoid dating and getting fixed up all together. It is possible to have a relationship grow into something romantic without ever having a first official date, but missing out on this rite of passage as a couple is not the best way to begin a relationship.
One of the best ways to make a first date a little less intimidating is to plan for what you will talk about. If you have conversation topics in mind, the date might go better and you can avoid those awkward silences that are common when strangers are getting to know one another. Though you do not want to seem as if you have rehearsed everything you talk about on a date, you can have a list of first date questions that help you get over the awkward moments. A few emergency questions will likely be enough to keep conversation moving and allow the date to progress in a comfortable manner. You cannot force chemistry if there is none between two people, but you can make the hours of the date better with pleasant conversation. If you have a date planned and you need some ideas about what to ask, consider these first date question suggestions:
First Blind Date Questions
If you are scheduled to go on a blind date, you are in a unique and valuable position. Though it might be intimidating to meet someone for the very first time on a date, it means both of you will be nervous and both of you have a lot to learn about one another. Blind dates equal things out because neither of the participants has predetermined feelings for the other. You are both entering into things blindly and willing to give a relationship a chance. There is less at risk because neither person has feelings for the other in advance.
If you are going on a blind first date you have plenty of questions available to ask. Start by asking for further details about the few things you do know. Chances are you spoke briefly, read an online profile, or heard information from a mutual friend before meeting in person. Use the information you have to learn more about your date. In addition to questions that pertain to what you know, you can also ask generic first date questions such as:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you enjoy your job?
- Do you like to travel?
- What are your hobbies?
- Do you have any pets?
- Are you close to your family?
- Do you like to cook?
- What do you find attractive in a significant other?
- How do you enjoy spending time with your friends?
- Do you enjoy reading, or watching movies or television?
First Date Questions for Acquaintances
In some respects, going on a first date with someone you know is easier because you are familiar with each other. However, it can also be more challenging because you know things about one another and there will be less of a need to ask generic questions. It can also be tricky to transition from a relationship as acquaintances or friends to something romantic. One of the participants is also likely to have his or her feelings at stake because emotion prompted the date. On a blind date, both parties are just giving another person a shot and testing a romantic connection. Neither has feelings for their date going into the event, but they are hoping there is a spark. On a date with someone you already know, someone has felt a spark and has feelings at risk if the spark is not felt in return. If you are planning a first date with someone you know, consider probing a bit deeper into the romantic side of your relationship with these first date questions:
- Do you feel like you are in a good place to begin a relationship?
- Were you surprised I asked you out on a date?
- Had you ever considered asking me out before?
- Do your friends know you had a date planned?
- Have you ever been friends with someone before being romantically involved?
Thought Provoking First Date Questions
Another option for keeping the conversation rolling on a first date is to focus on learning more about the person. Instead of talking about your relationship or the fact that you are on a date, talk about the person’s likes and dislikes. Asking questions about work and family is often a good way to get to know someone better. You might also ask their feelings about current events or their past experiences. The key to asking thought provoking first date questions is to focus more on how your date feels about something or his or her views on an issue, as opposed to facts about his or her life. For instance, in addition to asking what high school your date attended, you can also ask how he or she feels about online school programs. Instead of asking where he or she went on vacation, ask about his or her favorite vacation destination as a child and what was enjoyed most about the experiences. Thought provoking first date questions focused on emotions work well when combined with generic questions.
Personal First Date Questions
It can be acceptable to ask personal first date questions, but try to be sensitive to your date’s response. If you sense he or she is not interested in things getting too personal, take your questions in a different direction. When two people have a great connection, things can get verbally intimate quickly. If you are comfortable with and attracted to each other, you might be eager to share a lot of details. However, a lot of people prefer to keep things light and friendly on first dates. Likewise, you need to be cautious with someone who over-shares on a first date when you are not probing. If you have kept the conversation light, but your date is sharing intimate details, he or she might have an issue with boundaries. Do your best to return the first date questions to more generic topics or explain you are uncomfortable sharing so much too soon.
It is important to avoid inappropriate first date questions. Though some people are open and honest with details about their lives, you might be overstepping your boundaries when asking about certain subjects. Avoid topics such as sexual history and ex boyfriends or girlfriends. There might be some discussion about past relationships, but try to keep the details brief. Political and religious issues can also be a hot button for some people. You might be comfortable talking about sensitive issues, but understand you might offend your date. It is up to you to decide if it is more important to make a good impression or be completely open about all of your opinions on a first date. Chances are if your date is uncomfortable discussing hot button issues, he or she will either tell you or change the subject.
First dates can be fun, but you might need to prepare in advance to keep things comfortable. Think of a few first date questions beforehand, so the conversation flows and you both get to know one another during the date.